"Visiting the House of Mercy Was Pretty Emotional"

This was my first time attending the Reality Tour and I had no idea I would feel as strongly as I did while on the tour. I was somewhat informed about the various stops the tour makes, but I had not really considered how I would experience each of those places. The first bit of information we received was about the welfare system here in the county and what people go through to get assistance. I felt defeated just looking at the ten plus page application which looked confusing to me. If a Bachelor’s level educated person is overwhelmed by the application for DSS I wonder how a person with little or no education must feel.

I complain about money on a fairly regular basis because my money situation is tight and has been for most of my adult life. Listening to the gentleman who spoke to us in the subway made me feel like the most ungrateful person on the Earth. I may not have a lot of extra cash, but I go to Dunkin Donuts to buy coffee on a regular basis, I go out to eat several times a week. I was facing a man who used to be homeless, living in the cold, dark, abandoned subway tunnel. I cannot even imagine what it must be like to have nowhere to go, nothing to call your own. It was a humbling experience for me because I also realized that I am only one or two paychecks away from being homeless. I grew up in the middle class, but since our economy has taken a complete nose-dive I feel more and more vulnerable all of the time.

The formerly homeless man in the subway explained that he had been employed and living okay and then little by little the rug was pulled from underneath him. I think many white people are under the impression that the poor, black people they see in Rochester are that way because of something they have done. I know I used to think that. I am not proud of that, but before I was educated about the systemic causes for the poverty we see in Rochester, it was easier to think it was their own fault.

Visiting the House of Mercy was pretty emotional for me because I felt so responsible. I felt like I should be doing something to help these people. Or that when they look at me they think I should do something or that they wish they were in my shoes. That thought process is so disturbing to me now because I am not personally responsible for anyone’s poverty, but I don’t believe it absolves me of any responsibility to help people in community. I realized that the people who work and/or volunteer at the shelter are there because they want to not only change the lives of the people who stay there; they want to improve life circumstances for everyone. I felt sorry for the people staying in the shelter because I would not want to be in that situation, but then I thought about it and realized it could be me too. Not only that, but I see pity as a useless emotion and a waste of energy. Pitying people does nothing to help them move out of the space they are in. If you constantly feel sorry for a person’s situation or lot in life, you will not be in a position to help that person up and out of that place. To me pity also means you see yourself as more privileged than the person you feel sorry for and I find that demeaning.